January 14, 2018.
In the mid nineteen seventies, a long time ago, Jan (then a friend and now my wonderful wife) and I were in college and also worked in a residence with 28 young people who had various degrees of intellectual disabilities and sometimes also sensory impairments and behavioural issues.
One of the people we supported was a young adult with what’s sometimes called a moderate intellectual disability. He also engaged in some non-violent but inappropriate behaviour, scaring some of the other folks. He also was a polarizing presence among the staff. Some thought he was downright charming while others found he couldn’t do anything right. For the purpose of this story, I’ll call him Ben. Interesting to see the interactions between him and the staff but that’s another story.
Somehow he and I got along fine; I wasn’t much older than he. I often worked the midnight shift on weekends and watched hockey games on TV with Ben and a group of young men. I didn’t know much about hockey but I learned. Hey, it also fit in quite well with “doing the laundry”; put a load in-watch hockey-move clothes to dryer-watch hockey-take clothes from dryer-watch hockey- fold clothes-watch hockey and so on. After hockey was done, everyone went to their own rooms, except one fellow and myself. We folded the laundry, did some other chores; by then, it was time to get breakfast ready.
Video games did not exist yet, as far as I know, so Ben and I often chatted together, neither he nor I were that much into this hockey thing. Pretty typical male discussions that eventually turned to cars, driver’s licenses etc. One night he asked me if I could teach him how to drive. Of course I said no, people with intellectual disabilities can’t drive cars and definitely can’t cope with busy traffic, can they?
Through all the conflicts and behaviour problems in his young life, Ben must have learned to be persistent, maybe even stubborn. He kept asking me to teach him to drive. I figured I’d show him how complicated this was for anybody leave alone a person unable to read, so I picked up a booklet with all the information but guess what, it said you could do an oral test, bypassing the reading part.
Even though Ben was unable to read (or write) he seemed quite capable of understanding the road signs and grasping the consequences of a wrong decision on a busy road. I was beginning to admire this fellow’s tenacity and agreed to ask the director of the residence. She had already heard about this from Ben, who covered his bases quite well I learned
She said he couldn’t learn to drive but if he wanted to try the oral test, he could do that. Quite a paternalistic approach but this was very common then (1970s). I know that “they” could not have stopped him because he was not a minor but I don’t know if he knew that. They could have stopped me though, as long I was working for “them”. No harm done except to his ego when he failed. Success was not even considered. I was beginning to wonder if it would be possible. Ok, here we went. I instantly became a learning coach, Ben learned the material through discussions, independent learning, pictures, etc. All the energy came from him, I just followed along. Interestingly enough, his behaviour issues disappeared.Eventually he told me he was ready and could I please make an appointment for him to “sit” his oral test. Of course I was not that dense, so I took him to the driver’s license bureau and let him make his own appointment. The scheduled day arrived, Ben got up early, did his test and of course he passed with flying colours.
Now what; the director and some of the other staff were very surprised but Jan, myself and a few others were not surprised at all by that time because we had seen the determination and effort and yes, skill, Ben displayed for months and months. We were prepared to argue that it would not be fair to deny him the opportunity to try to actually learn to drive. Some staff were alarmed that a person “like that” would even be on the road and jeopardize everyone’s life and safety. The director gave permission because of fairness and asked me to take him out to the back of the building and see if I thought he could manage that. If he did, she would leave it up to me to proceed with caution, hoping that he would not get too far.
In Ontario any willing person with a valid driver’s license can teach someone else to drive. I don’t believe we had graduated driver’s licenses yet. Anyhow, I became an instant driving instructor in my own car. You can probably foresee the next part but make sure you read the last part.
Of course Ben gave it his all and half a year later I could do nothing less then recommend that he should try for his actual driver’s license. Was I sure that he would not displayed for months and months. We were prepared to argue that it would not be fair to deny him the opportunity to try to actually learn to drive. Some staff were alarmed that a person like that would even be on the road and jeopardize everyone’s life and safety. The director gave permission because of fairness and asked me to take him out in the back of the building and see if I thought he could manage that. If he did, she would leave it up to me to proceed with caution, hoping that he would not get too far. Of course he passed that little prerequisite.
In Ontario any willing person with a valid driver’s license can teach someone else to drive. I don’t believe we had graduated driver’s licenses yet. Anyhow, I became an instant driving instructor in my own car. You can probably foresee the next part but make sure you read the last part.
Of course Ben gave it his all and half a year later I could do nothing less then recommend that he should try for his actual driver’s license. Was I sure that he would not create an accident? At least could I guarantee that Ben would not kill anyone? How could I know that? I can’t even say this about myself. There are few guarantees in life. No way to stop him now. He passed with flying colours again. First time out. I needed 2 tries a few years before; this confirmed my suspicion that he would be a better driver than I. All the staff congratulated him. A few weeks later he obtained a job with a local moving company, a job that suited him just fine; he was very strong and now that he could legally drive, I’m sure he made for a great employee.
I completed my college diploma and moved to a different part of the province to take on a different position. A year or so later I went back for a visit. I was told that Ben had been in a truck accident with the moving company. He was paralyzed from the neck down. What a shock and how sad, after all the effort he ended up not being able to do anything and had to be cared for by paid staff.
What does this have to do with Parkinson’s Disease? Absolutely nothing or absolutely everything. My intend of this blog post was to focus on risks, since we all make decisions based on our assessment of how much risk there is and how much we are willing to take. Our investment advisors ask about that before they invest our first dime. In my next blog I will relate this to some risks associated with Parkinson’s.
For now, I will look at some risks in the story. I might phrase it as a question: Who took what risks?
First, I think Ben took a risk talking to me and insisting I teach him to drive. I might have made him feel real dumb and inadequate by putting him down for not being able to learn or even read.
Second, I took a risk taking this issue to the director. As a very young and inexperienced staff member she could have made me feel real dumb and inadequate by putting me down for my lack of experience and skill. I also took the risk that Ben would cause a potentially fatal accident.
Third, the director took a risk, perhaps an ongoing risk, by allowing the process to begin and later on to continue. The other staff might have blamed her if Ben had been in an accident. If another person had been injured or killed there may have been not only blame but perhaps even a legal liability. In retrospect, perhaps she took the biggest risk. She may have lost her job and career.
Fourth, the board of directors and perhaps their insurance company took a liability risk, although I don’t know if they knew anything about this.
Fifth, Society as a whole took a risk, although they it takes the same risks for all of us.
I could go on but my point for now really is only that risks of various consequences are part of our daily experiences.
Now I’ll tell you the rest of the story. Ben was not driving at all. He was sitting in the passenger’s seat of the moving truck; the truck was parked properly but got hit by another truck whose driver lost control. Ben was not driving at all. The other truck’s insurance paid out millions of dollars to build Ben a totally accessible home and around the clock care as well as rehabilitation. Still a very sad story but the risks certainly came out in a very different way.
I hope you enjoyed this story. I’m not sure what happened to Ben; the residence closed and everyone moved to smaller living quarters; making it harder to track anybody. I got a very busy job in Sarnia, Jan and I got married. Unfortunately, we lost track of Ben, he will be a senior by now just like us, if he is still with us.
Casey